個人檔案备忘录相片部落格清單 工具 說明

He Peng

19 August

小马修眼里的媒体世界

这份报告。。。errrr,我懒得介绍啊,反正最近很轰动。随便查查马修·罗布森(Matthew Robson)都比我两句蹩脚的简介好。所有想在英国那些又胖又笨又粗鲁的小孩子们身上刮些油水,可要认真读读这个,毕竟他们才是经济复苏后的真正潜在消费者。

 

还是引用一段别人的简介:

大致的意思就是有个叫马修·罗布森的小童鞋,15岁,在英国伦敦摩根斯坦利公司见习。

实习的时候公司剥削劳动力,让他找他朋友研究一下媒体使用习惯。

结果他写的很NB,所以公司打算发发试试,没准儿能挣点小钱,结果这份报告引起了一场轰动,比那些一直在电话前打电话的经理、CEO做的研究都NB,还给公司带来了比平时多五到六倍的效益。

他这份报告主要目的并非鄙视Twitter,他还一起鄙视了黑莓、Iphone、电话簿、和一切电子信息承载机器。他说小孩子们注册了这些也不用,而且会尽一切可能获得免费的服务。这点很符合中国国情,恩。

重点提到Twitter是因为他的这些研究让那些微博的拥护者尤为震惊,让他们很郁闷。

 

Teenager causes City sensation with research on media: report in full

How Teenagers Consume Media

Radio

Most teenagers nowadays are not regular listeners to radio. They may occasionally tune in, but they do not try to listen to a program specifically. The main reason teenagers listen to the radio is for music, but now with online sites streaming music for free they do not bother, as services such as last.fm do this advert free, and users can choose the songs they want instead of listening to what the radio presenter/DJ chooses.

Television

Most teenagers watch television, but usually there are points in the year where they watch more than average. This is due to programs coming on in seasons, so they will watch a particular show at a certain time for a number of weeks (as long as it lasts) but then they may watch no television for weeks after the program has ended.

Teenage boys (generally) watch more TV when it is the football season, often watching two games and related shows a week(totalling about 5 hours of viewing). A portion of teenagers watches programs that are regular (such as soap operas) at least five times a week for half an hour or so but this portion is shrinking, as it is hard to find the time each day.

Teenagers are also watching less television because of services such as BBC iPlayer, which allows them to watch shows when they want. Whilst watching TV, adverts come on quite regularly (18 minutes of every hour) and teenagers do not want to watch these, so they switch to another channel, or do something else whilst the adverts run.

The majority of teenagers I speak to have Virgin Media as their provider, citing lower costs but similar content of Sky. A fraction of teenagers have Freeview but these people are light users of TV (they watch about 1 ½ hours per week) so they do not require the hundreds of channels that other providers offer.

Newspapers

No teenager that I know of regularly reads a newspaper, as most do not have the time and cannot be bothered to read pages and pages of text while they could watch the news summarised on the internet or on TV. The only newspapers that are read are tabloids and freesheets (Metro, London Lite…) mainly because of cost; teenagers are very reluctant to pay for a newspaper (hence the popularity of freesheets such as the Metro).

Over the last few weeks, the sun has decreased in cost to 20p, so I have seen more and more copies read by teenagers. Another reason why mainly tabloids are read is that their compact size allows them to be read easily, on a bus or train. This is especially true for The Metro, as it is distributed on buses and trains.

Gaming

Whilst the stereotypical view of gamers is teenage boys, the emergence of the Wii onto the market has created a plethora of girl gamers and younger (6+) gamers. The most common console is the Wii, then the Xbox 360 followed by the PS3. Most teenagers with a games console tend to game not in short bursts, but in long stints (upwards of an hour).

As consoles are now able to connect to the internet, voice chat is possible between users, which has had an impact on phone usage; one can speak for free over the console and so a teenager would be unwilling to pay to use a phone. PC gaming has little or no place in the teenage market.

This may be because usually games are released across all platforms, and whilst one can be sure a game will play on a console PC games require expensive set ups to ensure a game will play smoothly. In addition, PC games are relatively easy to pirate and download for free, so many teenagers would do this rather than buy a game.

In contrast, it is near impossible to obtain a console game for free.

Internet

Every teenager has some access to the internet, be it at school or home. Home use is mainly used for fun (such as social networking) whilst school (or library) use is for work. Most teenagers are heavily active on a combination of social networking sites. Facebook is the most common, with nearly everyone with an internet connection registered and visiting >4 times a week. Facebook is popular as one can interact with friends on a wide scale.

On the other hand, teenagers do not use twitter. Most have signed up to the service, but then just leave it as they release that they are not going to update it (mostly because texting twitter uses up credit, and they would rather text friends with that credit). In addition, they realise that no one is viewing their profile, so their ‘tweets’ are pointless. Outside of social networking, the internet is used primarily as a source of information for a variety of topics.

For searching the web, Google is the dominant figure, simply because it is well known and easy to use. Some teenagers make purchases on the internet (on sites like eBay) but this is only used by a small percentage, as a credit card is required and most teenagers do not have credit cards. Many teenagers use YouTube to watch videos (usually anime which cannot be watched anywhere else) and some use it as a music player by having a video with the music they want to listen to playing in the background.

Directories

Teenagers never use real directories (hard copy catalogues such as yellow pages). This is because real directories contain listings for builders and florists, which are services that teenagers do not require. They also do not use services such as 118 118 because it is quite expensive and they can get the information for free on the internet, simply by typing it into Google.

Viral/Outdoor Marketing

Most teenagers enjoy and support viral marketing, as often it creates humorous and interesting content. Teenagers see adverts on websites (pop ups, banner ads) as extremely annoying and pointless, as they have never paid any attention to them and they are portrayed in such a negative light that no one follows them.

Outdoor advertising usually does not trigger a reaction in teenagers, but sometimes they will oppose it (the Benetton baby adverts). Most teenagers ignore conventional outside advertising (billboards etc) because they have seen outside adverts since they first stepped outside and usually it is not targeted at them (unless it’s for a film).

However, campaigns such as the GTA: IV characters painted on the side of buildings generate interest because they are different and cause people to stop and think about the advert, maybe leading to further research.

Music

Teenagers listen to a lot of music, mostly whilst doing something else (like travelling or using a computer). This makes it hard to get an idea of the proportion of their time that is spent listening to music. They are very reluctant to pay for it (most never having bought a CD) and a large majority (8/10) downloading it illegally from file sharing sites. Legal ways to get free music that teenagers use are to listen to the radio, watch music TV channels (not very popular, as these usually play music at certaintimes, which is not always when teenagers are watching) and use music streaming websites (as I mentioned previously).

Almost all teenagers like to have a ‘hard copy’ of the song (a file of the song that they can keep on their computer and use at will) so that they can transfer it to portable music players and share it with friends. How teenagers play their music while on the go varies, and usually dependent on wealth –with teenagers from higher income families using iPods and those from lower income families using mobile phones.

Some teenagers use both to listen to music, and there are always exceptions to the rule. A number of people use the music service iTunes (usually in conjunction with iPods) to acquire their music (legally) but again this is unpopular with many teenagers because of the ‘high price’ (79p per song).

Some teenagers use a combination of sources to obtain music, because sometimes the sound quality is better on streaming sites but they cannot use these sites whilst offline, so they would download a song then listen to it on music streaming sites (separate from the file).

Cinema

Teenagers visit the cinema quite often, regardless of what is on. Usually they will target a film first, and set out to see that, but sometimes they will just go and choose when they get there. This is because going to the cinema is not usually about the film, but the experience –and getting together with friends.

Teenagers visit the cinema more often when they are in the lower end of teendom (13 and 14) but as they approach 15 they go to the cinema a lot less. This is due to the pricing; at 15 they have to pay the adult price, which is often double the child price. Also, it is possible to buy a pirated DVD of the film at the time of release, and these cost much less than a cinema ticket so teenagers often choose this instead of going to the cinema.

Some teenagers choose to download the films off the internet, but this is not favourable as the films are usually bad quality,have to be watched on a small computer screen and there is a chance that they will be malicious files and install a virus.

Devices

Mobile Phones

99pc of teenagers have a mobile phone and most are quite capable phones. The general view is that Sony Ericsson phones are superior, due to their long list of features, built in walkman capability and value (£100 will buy a mid-high range model). Teenagers due to the risk of it getting lost do not own mobile phones over the £200 mark.

As a rule, teenagers have phones on pay as you go. This is because they cannot afford the monthly payments, and cannot commit to an 18-month contract. Usually, teenagers only use their phone for texting, calling. Features such as video messaging or video calling are not used –because they are expensive, (you can get four regular texts for the price of one video message).

Services such as instant messaging are used, but not by everyone. It usually depends whether the phone is Wi-Fi compatible, because otherwise it is very expensive to get internet off the phone network. As most teenagers’ phones have Bluetooth support, and Bluetooth is free, they utilise this feature often.

It is used to send songs and videos (even though it is illegal) and is another way teenagers gain songs for free. Teenagers never use the ringtone and picture selling services, which gained popularity in the early 00s. This is because of the negative press that these services have attracted (where the charge £20 a week with no easy way to cancel the service) and the fact that they can get pictures and music on a computer –then transfer it to their phones at no cost.

Mobile email is not used as teenagers have no need; they do not need to be connected to their inbox all the time as they don’t receive important emails. Teenagers do not use the internet features on their mobiles as it costs too much, and generally, if they waited an hour they could use their home internet and they are willing to wait as they don’t usually have anything urgent to do.

Teenagers do not upgrade their phone very often, with most upgrading every two years. They usually upgrade on their birthday when their parents will buy them a new phone, as they do not normally have enough money to do it themselves.

Televisions:

Most teenagers own a TV, with more and more upgrading to HD ready flat screens. However, many are not utilising this HD functionality, as HD channels are expensive extras which many families cannot justify the added expenditure. Many of them don’t want to sign up to HD broadcasting services, as adverts are shown on standard definition broadcasts, so they can’t see the difference. Most people have Virgin Media as a TV provider. Some have sky and some have Freeview but very few only have the first five channels (BBC One, BBC Two, ITV, Channel Four and Channel Five).

Computers:

Every teenager has access to a basic computer with internet, but most teenagers computers are systems capable of only everyday tasks. Nearly all teenagers’ computers have Microsoft office installed, as it allows them to do school work at home.Most (9/10) computers owned by teenagers are PCs, because they are much cheaper than Macs and school computers run Windows, so if a Mac is used at home compatibility issues arise.

Games Consoles:

Close to 1/3 of teenagers have a new (<2 ½ years old) games console, 50% having a Wii, 40% with an Xbox 360 and 10% with a PS3. The PS3 has such a low figure because of its high price (£300) and similar features and games to an Xbox 360, which costs less (£160). The Wii’s dominance is due to younger brothers and sisters, they have a Wii and parents are not willing to pay for another console.

What is Hot?

•Anything with a touch screen is desirable.

•Mobile phones with large capacities for music.

•Portable devices that can connect to the internet (iPhones)

•Really big tellies

What Is Not?

•Anything with wires

•Phones with black and white screens

•Clunky ‘brick’ phones

•Devices with less than ten-hour battery life

9 August

下载心理学

不像那些高深的心理学家,我从不靠大叠大叠的测试表来判断一个人的个性,我所需要的,仅仅是知道你使用哪种下载工具。不信?那就试试吧。

迅雷:
你疯狂地迷恋着速度。下载时,你会如同观看F1比赛一般,眼睛死死地盯着速度栏,哪怕是1kb/s的改变也让你心惊肉跳。你毫不在意那些针对迅雷P2SP的批评,在你脑子里速度等于一切,那些聒噪不过是对自己蜗行速度的掩饰罢了。迅雷最令你你不满的是毫无必要的上传功能,这个影响下载速度的绊脚石令你满腔怒火。如果那些讨厌的eMule用户向你抱怨迅雷对P2P网络的破坏,你会将他撂在一边,说他小题大做,并嘲笑他是五十步笑百步。

FlashGet:
自打几年前FlashGet一发布,你便迷上了它,几年间FlashGet的每一个beta版本你都尝试过,FlashGet已经成了你的一种信仰。你热衷于把FlashGet和其他软件作对比,每一次,你都会故作惊讶地得出结论:FlashGet更优秀!尽管现在越来越多的人倒戈,用起了迅雷,但你总能在迅雷上找到很多不如FlashGet的地方,并向那些叛徒表示怜悯和不解。最后,你认定用迅雷的家伙都是些白痴和自私鬼,自己则更加骄傲地用起了FlashGet。

BitComet:
你对BT充满了爱,只要有人夸耀某个在线电影网站是多么的好,你就会义正言辞地指出,BT才是最好的下载方式。你讨厌那些版权主义者,他们总爱拿盗版说事。在你看来,网络上的一切都应该免费。你讨厌DVD加密技术,因为这会耽误自己看上最新的大片。至于DRM,天哪,你实在是想不通为什么会有人买有DRM保护的歌曲!

eMule:
一提到eMule的信用机制,你便浑身燥热,湿的不行。你最爱做的事便是打开eMule的统计面板,看看自己又上传了多少数据,再截下一张图,发到论坛上与人攀比。你自视甚高,藐视那些使用其他下载软件的人。你坚持认为,eMule是成熟人才用的下载工具,至于其他人,不过是些不懂eMule信用机制的小屁孩罢了。你平生最恨两种人,用迅雷的,还有用Vagaa的,哪怕只是想想,你就恨得直咬牙,在你看来,这群无视P2P分享原则的小吸血鬼都应该滚回妈妈怀里吃奶去。

网络蚂蚁:
你算是个有点资历的老网民了,尽管机器一再升级,你还是抱着NetAnts不松手。你对现在的软件趋势非常不满:体积愈来愈臃肿,资源占用愈来愈庞大,增加的却只是不实在的华丽界面和没意义的新功能。你想要的,不过是一个单纯的多线程下载工具而已,这么多年来只有NetAnts满足了你。

DuDu下载加速器:
不知什么时候,这个讨厌的家伙突然就出现在了你的电脑里。你一想下载点什么,它便跳了出来,弄得你不知所措。你努力翻看着手中的笔记本,想找点提示,但上面一点也没提怎么应对这种情况。你于是只好向你的高手朋友们咨询:“那个……下载坏掉了……点了下载也出不来……”但很遗憾,你的朋友们似乎并不如你想象的那样厉害,他们支支吾吾半天,也给不出你想要的答案。最后,你拨打了一本风扇说明书上的技术支持电话,听从里面那位声音甜美的小姐的建议,照着手边的小册子,重装了系统。

PP点点通:
你是个有些腼腆的中学生,看 ** 是你小小的秘密爱好。在你眼里,PP点点通的网站是个隐藏的很深很深的H站,它的主页不过是个糊弄警察叔叔的幌子罢了。你把PP点点通当作了互联网上最大最大的秘密,只透露给自己最亲最密的朋友。上课时,你偶尔会想起昨晚看的 ** ,然后脸红上一阵,接着扶扶眼镜,若无其事。

Vagaa:
作为一个高中生,看 ** 早已是你和同学间公开的秘密。上课时,你会激动地与同桌交流昨晚的心得体会,然后分享搜索结果最多的关键词。对着父母,你会装出一副乖巧的样子,一背过头去便开始嘲笑他们的无知与迂腐。玩世不恭的你对即将到来的生存压力已有所察觉,但你总能靠Vagaa来放松自己。

Wget:
你生就浓眉大眼,一副憨厚的样子。你从不使用固定的名字,随身的大皮箱里放着好几套衣服,就连内裤也有蓝、黄、黑、绿、红5种颜色。你从来不说真话,但你的听众却总对你言听计从。而现在,你正试着让我相信你使用Wget。你是谁?一个不长牙的大骗子。

μTorrent:
你平日就是个系统优化的狂热爱好者,任何一点内存的占用都会令你暴跳如雷。你至少安装了两种实时内存整理软件,尽管它们释放的内存还不及它们占用的一半多。如同那些大胖子一样,一遇见系统优化软件的广告,你便禁不止想试一试,“减少占用50%”?“加速启动100%”?“效率提高200%”?真是太棒了!你会一股脑地全部收下。自然,μTorrent这个小巧的BT客户端轻松赢得了你的青睐。

CuteFTP/FlashFXP:
你手上至少有三个论坛的内部FTP帐号,你喜欢FTP这种古老但稳定的下载方式,BT和ED从来都不曾动摇过你。你自视为网络中的贵族,因为极少有人掌握这么多稳定的内部FTP帐号。当然,作为代价,你很可能是一个或多个字幕组的成员,靠做做时间轴或是翻译来换取FTP权限。你深爱着这种生活,你知道,无论P2P怎么发展,网络永远都离不了稳定的FTP。

Internet Download Manager:
你一厢情愿地认为IDM是最先进的下载工具,迅雷、快车之流不过是靠P2P才掩饰了自己技术的落后。一有人贬低IDM,说IDM不如迅雷,你便跳出来指责他是迅雷的枪手,然后列出一大堆例子和术语来证明IDM的优秀。无论其他人是否理解,IDM永远是你心中最优秀的下载工具。
23 May

意外杀人后怎么办?(ZZ)

有专业人士过来分析下反侦查做的如何


这个情况比较突然,而且大多数朋友们以后会面对的也应该属于这个情况比较多。好,
现在假设情况如下,夜晚,你在家因为和朋友争吵,失手把他杀了。接下来你应该怎么
办,要自首和自杀的朋友们请关闭网页该干嘛干嘛去吧。如果不甘心为了这个冲动坐牢
的同学们,请先不要往下看,先想一下自己会如何处理这个情况。
   
  好的,第一步,我认为是,先把尸体移动到浴室。然后把客厅的先打扫干净。这里
要推荐CSI 里面曾经提到过的一种清洗液,也就是女生们现在用来清洗曾被大姨妈侵袭
过的裤子或者被子。用这种东西清洗过的地板,墙壁等,不会被那个紫外灯照出来。而
且女生家有
这个清洗液也是非常正常的。如果你是男孩子,就记得在善后工作中,把这个瓶子扔了
。顺便说一下,这种清洗液在各地超市里面都很好买,尤其是大型商场的卖进口产品多
的超市。
   
  第二步,是要把被害人的衣服以及其他物件拿出来归类。这里没什么特别要提醒的
,反正能烧的就烧掉。不能烧掉的,记得扔掉。严重要提出注意的,是被害人的手机。
千万不要关机。因为手机关机前会向通讯站发出讯号。这样很容易就能定位关机时手机
所在位置。前面的努力一下子就前功尽弃了。所以,先在家用这个手机播放音乐,等电
用到差不多的时候,找个偏僻的公园或者灌木丛打一个10086 的语音电话。如果你刚巧
知道被害人第二天和谁有约会的话,就更好了。先拨一个这个人的电话,在没通的时候
就挂掉。然后发一个短信给这个联系人,短信内容为,明天别忘了或者明天别迟到等等
类似。然后就把手机往地上扔一下,不要太用力,最好有点摔痕。最后在旁边看着手机
把电耗光自动关机

  
  第三步,这点需要很强大的意志力和忍耐力。杀人不光是个技术活,也是个力气活
啊。就是大家期待已久的分尸了。家里有浴缸的同志们有福啦。您拥有了最佳的分尸器
皿。因为分尸会出现大量的血液,如果没有浴缸的话,您清洗的善后工作会变得非常复
杂以及繁琐。我只能提醒家里没有浴缸的同学们,一定要在分尸的时候裸着,以及在门
缝塞一些抹布,以避免血液流到客厅,你的打扫工作量会立刻变得巨大起来。好了,具
体分尸没什么好说的,无非就是切割之类的精细手工活,如果您是医生,厨师或者屠夫
的话,可能操作起来就比其他人快速的多,赢在起跑线上了。普通人呢,在切累了的时
候,别忘了打个电话给您的亲朋好友,用轻松愉快的语调,随便聊一下今天公司发生的
事情,或者当时正在播出的电视节目。最好邀请一个晚上有约会或者晚上很少出门的朋
友一起喝个小酒,看个电影,被对方拒绝就太完美了。打完电话你就接着干活吧,虽然
你现在是个凶手,明天一早还是要接着上班的,否则嫌疑就太大了。
  
  第四步,就是怎样把尸体带出去扔掉。当然不可能一起拿个垃圾袋出去扔。这样也
太明显了。就算四下无人,别忘了电梯里还有摄像头。什么,你说走楼梯?如果你住在
30 楼以上,你能保证在这么多的楼梯上不留一滴血吗?如果在搬运过程中袋子破了你
怎么办?再说了,难道就把这堆尸体扔到小区垃圾箱?否则你拿着这个大垃圾袋怎么上
出租车?而且应该有很浓厚的血腥味。出租车司机是多么热衷于报警啊。你自己有车?
太好了,那就准备让洗车场的伙计们替你报警吧。而且在警察盘查的时候,有车族的嫌
疑“噌噌噌”就大了很多。这部分我们认为,把尸体粉碎,弄到最小,分批带出去是最
好不过了。首先,你要把尸体切到尽可能块,而且骨肉分离。把头部,手,***,耳朵
,皮肤等最容易辨识的部位先放在一边。肉呢放进微波炉里分批烤熟,这样核糖核酸就
被破坏了,你拿出去丢弃的时候就不大会被认出来是人肉;骨头是最占地方以及最难处
理的,我们给您推荐的就是---- 台虎钳。它能没有声音的把骨头轧成粉末,实在是杀
人灭口居家旅游必备产品。那些容易辨识的部位,先剁碎,然后用榨汁机,绞碎机等,
弄成一团肉末。同样带出去扔掉。
  
  第五步,丢弃。这里就牵涉到出门了。出门你有两件事,一是购买我们刚才说的工
具,包括清洗剂啊,台虎钳啊之类的。要做计程车出门哦,如果你住朝阳区的,就去丰
台区买这些东西吧,反正越远越好。二是丢弃,我们刚才说的,骨头碎末以及烤熟的人
肉条。最好的丢弃地址,小区居民垃圾桶,这个危险在于小区的大叔大妈们都是很热心
的,陌生人来扔垃圾,搞不好要和你拉拉家常;饭店的垃圾桶,你多去几个饭店吃饭,
每次扔一些,这个危险不是太大,但是量大不了;打开窑井盖往里扔,这个只能在晚上
做,而且很容易被当成偷井盖的抓住,最后就是流动垃圾车,这个的难度在于你很难碰
到,所以,老师从小教导我们平时要注意观察,书到用时方恨少了吧。
  
  第六步,细节的掩藏。这件事基本大块都说完了。但是细节往往决定着成败。你看
大多数的案件都是死在细节上。我刚才说的手机关机问题就是一个很多人容易忽视的细
节。现在还有几个重要的细节要和大家说明。
   
  首先,刚才说的全部事情,你只有三天左右的时间完成。一个人从失踪到报警到盘
查社会关系到你家,差不多只有三天时间。你可要千万抓紧啊,明日复明日,万事成蹉
跎。别等警察到了你家,您还满浴缸都是血,那可是给了北京新闻一个头条啊。
  
  第二,摄像头只拍到了被害人进你家电梯的画面,没拍到他出你家。这里我们提供
两个解决方案,一是当晚把电梯弄坏,可以解释为被害人从安全通道下楼梯走了,没被
拍到;二是,如果你熟悉你们小区的电路走向,这对女生比较难,可以试着当晚把摄像
头那一
路的电线切断,晚上物业基本不会来修,要修也要等到第二天,所以没拍到也很正常。
还有,你必须弄清楚你家小区的摄像头录影带是保留几天,这个非常简单,随便找个借
口就不要姐姐亲自教了吧。而且我自己试了一下,已经成功问到本小区的情况啦。这一
点又说
明了“机会只给有准备的人”。
  
  第三,血液的气味是很大的。做事的时候不要开排风扇,而且第二天一早千万要记
得在门口打翻一瓶醋来掩盖。
  
  第四,微波炉用了一夜,这个月的用电量会突然暴涨。虽然这不构成直接证据,但
是疑点还是要越少越好。大家不妨试试看把自己家冰箱的封条拉开一些。而且要无意间
和朋友透露,好像冰箱不大制冷了类似的话,还可以掩盖气味。如果冰箱结霜严重,就
请物业的来看一下吧。
    
  第五,台虎钳的问题。用完要清洗干净,早就告诉你们要保持良好的卫生习惯啊。
最好再用砂皮打磨一遍就更好了。警察一定会怀疑为什么一个女孩子有这种东西。这就
需要你平时积累一些关于手工的爱好,譬如加入一个这样的QQ 群。如果您是个心灵手
巧的人,不妨真的锉个什么半成品放在旁边。当然,如果您有办法把接近20 斤的台虎
钳完美的处理掉,那就更好了。
 以上,技术层面都说的差不多了。在这里要提醒大家的还是素质,心理素质。大家看
看本能里面的莎朗斯通,能够从容不迫的面对测谎仪。警察是一定会来询问你的,如果
你平时安分守己,没有案底,然后又回答流利,谈吐自如,乖巧可爱,最好再装作胆小
温柔。那么基本上就算过关了。还有,警察来问你,能够老实交代的都不要撒谎。至于
什么几点钟在干吗之类的,记得就说,不记得就不记得。电视里面常常有这样的情景,
上星期二晚上9 点你在干吗,然后演员假装想了一下就说出来了。妈的,老娘坐在电脑
旁边想了半天都没想出来我上礼拜二晚上干嘛了。说明这是一个多么普通的夜晚啊,和
我千千万万个夜晚一样,没有什么特别的事情。
28 April

够灵活的

 
27 February

穷开心

基本很多网上的大学雷人舞蹈之类,都是模仿这一支
  
 
浙江卫视版
 
25 February

泡泡歌

需要看中文字幕的或者不能访问youtube的看这里

 

   

26 January

型男知识讲座

好吧,我承认这个帖子我已经看过几次,但今天我才下定决心把他发出来。

让大家共同受益,一哈


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座







前不久收到了讓一個丑陋不堪的宅男變為型男的書,現在我就將此書發出來,和各位強者分享。基本上我收到的資料,是這本「型男講座」的片段而已。這本經典的書籍(還有出第二冊「人氣男之道」),不論男女都務必要收來詳讀。這本書分析的實在太精闢了,我才看了節錄的幾段,就已經受到當頭棒喝啊!


廢話不多說,馬上來看重點!
男人每天很大部分的時間都是在上班,所以辦公室正是養成型男的溫床。我平常上班就是太隨性了,才與型男之路漸行漸遠。
平常有同事召喚我時,我都會起身走過去。
錯了!
真正的型男在轉身回應的同時,手上的打字絕不能停!回應的時候,還要挑眉露出非常
欠打 有型的表情!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



移動到同事座位時,更要非常帥氣的連椅子一起滑過去!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



我平時接電話時,都是直接把話筒拿起來聽。
太膚淺!型男絕不會這麼做!
型男在接電話之前,一定要把話筒拿起來,像調雞尾酒般在雙手間翻滾啊!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



而平時上班打字的時候,我就像普通的上班族一樣。坐在桌子前面打字。
這是不對的!這樣子一輩子只能當凡人!
型男打字,一定要與眾不同!不論如何,一定要給人華麗的感覺!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



在辦公室外,經常會遇到各種不同的人。但光是男人臉上的笑容這個基礎中的基礎,我就不及格了。我雖然看到人都會微笑,但那種笑容最多只是「萌」,和「型」實在差太多了。
真正的型男,一定要隨時隨地保持著偶像劇風格的笑容啊!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



光有笑容還不夠,還要有儀態。空氣平時走路,都是大步邁進,非常沒有修養,難怪無法成為型男!
要當型男,一定要有令人注目的走路風格!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



平時在街上見到水坑,我都是小心翼翼地踩過去,或是繞過去。
這種動作實在太娘了!
身為一個型男,絕不可能因為前方有水坑而畏懼,必會華麗地跨過!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



型男吃飯時,也要有氣質,有型!
例如和朋友出去吃火鍋時,我都小心翼翼地用湯匙來撈易碎的豆腐等食品。
這是娘砲才有的行為!
一定要用筷子,快速地把豆腐從鍋裡抄起,這才是型男的美學啊!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



在任何一個小節都要有型,例如吃西瓜時,要用牙齒雕出龍頭,這才是型男本色!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



「型男講座」中更點出我平時在外工作時的不足之處,例如空氣夏天在外面採訪新聞時,面對滿頭大汗,都是隨便擦擦就算了。
但是型男可不能如此!
型男記者在滿頭大汗時,一定要先拉緊被汗水濕透的外衣,硬撐出結實的後背,吸引女性的眼球!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



緊接著要擺出有型的
Pose,把女性注意力全部拉過來!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



最後一定要站在背光的位置,以好萊塢式的華麗擦汗方法,盡情地散發型男費洛蒙!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



才看幾篇這本「型男講座」,我已經頓悟了。裡面講的金玉良言,一定要徹底吸收,才能成為人見人愛的型男。下次出國旅遊時,務必要把這些精華學以致用,一定能遇上一段異國豔遇啊!
在國外旅行時,與美女一同搭電梯的情形經常能遇到。當有美女想搭電梯時,我通常只是把電梯門按開,等著美女自己進來。
成何體統?這完全不是型男的紳士作風!
型男一定要站在電梯門外迎接美女,讓女性能感受到被服侍的快感!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



如果是小羅莉等級的美少女,更可使用這種撐住電梯門的方式,強調自己的可靠性!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



當我看到快關上的電梯門時,通常都是衝前猛按鈕,或是身手拍開電梯門。
這實在太粗野了!
怎麼可以耽誤其他人乘坐電梯的時間呢?型男當然要用型男的方式衝入電梯啊!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



身為一個遠在他鄉的旅行者,還有一個容易遇上美女的場合,便是在乘坐大眾交通工具的時候。
身為一個型男,搭電車的時候也要特別有型!
連站在電車內抓環的手法,都是講究!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



不過旅行的時候,畢竟有時差,經常會在搭車時睡覺。
既然是型男,睡覺時當然不能鬆懈。
要用漫畫式的睡法!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



或是時尚雜誌的睡法!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



只要能做到,車上的美女一定會含情脈脈地行注目禮啊!
最後在下車出閘時,也不可失去型男本色,不然將會前功盡棄。
在通過閘門的一瞬間,型男一定要騰空躍起,旋轉三圈飛出閘門,然後用力站定!


对MM的瞬间必杀50秘技!型男讲座



這些才是型男本色啊!
諸君!你們經常被女友或老婆辱罵是個宅男嗎?妳們覺得男友或老公太宅而感到羞恥嗎?那還在等什麼?快去購買這本「型男講座」,將自己或男伴徹底變成一名型男吧!